Fuckhammer – Hammered to Fuck CD review

With a name like Fuckhammer you automatically presume that these Northern Islanders are going to be a grindcore band and how right you would be.  Bands like Wormrot and Bolt Thrower and Terrorizer are all unique and genre defying bands that put this “controversial” and “extremely brutal” genre on the map. Fuckhammer on the other hand are extremely generic sounding exactly the same as most other grindcore bands on the scene – Loud, noisy and downright terrible. There is nothing that sets Fuckhammer apart from any other band trying to make it in this very narrow minded genre and it’s the lack of idea and creativity that really is Fuckhammer’s downfall, but on the other hand if you like the sound of a Gorilla taking a massive dump while someone impales him with a spear then Fuckhammer are the band for you… NOT!

Hammered to Fuck is a four track EP that from start to finish will fail to interest you in the slightest. For a typical grindcore band, Fuckhammer aim to go all out brutal and ensure that every moment on Hammered to Fuck is as aggressive and hostile as possible and through tracks like ‘Born of the Ass’ and ‘Drone’ (which is just a noisy monotonous drone) try to be more brutal than any other band on the scene, but unfortunately fail miserably.

There is no talent or skill to playing this music. It’s simply five guys thrashing away on their instruments because they have nothing better to do. There is no spark to Hammered to Fuck and even after playing it ten; even twenty times (that’s if you can stand the noise for that long), you will not be able to remember the tunes of any of these songs.  Every band should have a calling card with which people can remember them by, and apart from the rather controversial and explicit band and album name, Fuckhammer have nothing unique and distinctive to offer their listeners.

This has to be one of the worst EP’s to be released of all time and due to its stodgy production and rather terrible songs is something that can’t be stomached. Tracks such as ‘Hillbillies’ and ‘Abortion Addict’ are both ferocious and forceful, festering forth through your speakers like a swarm of rabid killer bees determined to cause you pain with every sting – or in Fuckhammer’s case, with every note played. It is a rather horrendous noise!

Fuckhammer bring as much entertainment to the listener as rubbing their teeth against a brick. This is an EP you need to avoid like the plague and the bad thing is, is that this is only an EP and Fuckhammer are in the process of writing a new album… No wonder the world is going to end in 2012. It knew the new Fuckhammer album was going to be released! [1/10]

About Del Preston

So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweet shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me and Keith Moon and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweet shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shop owner and his son, that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business really. But sure enough, I got the M&Ms and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.